I recently was talking with another Mom about her experiences going through tough times in her home. And her response to me was, "You look like you have it all together." I am pretty sure I laughed out LOUD after that statement, but it got my wheels turning. I wonder how many women look at each other, and assume that the other has it all together.
So I thought I would write this letter...
To the Mom who thinks I have it all together,
First off, can I just say I see you? I see the work, the struggle, the sacrifice. The long nights and early mornings. I see how you're putting your family first, and leaving your dreams in the dust. I SEE YOU. I see how picking up the same dirty sock for the thousandth time pushes you over the edge. I see how you Pinterest your life away, planning every single detail. How you Marie Kondo the crap out of your life to find peace in the midst of toys, mounds of laundry, and slimy dog toys. I see you doubting who you are made to be, saying, "Well maybe after kids I can pick that dream back up." or "I just don't have the time.". I see you looking at yourself in the mirror and judging critically every detail. I see YOU. The lonely times, the unappreciated, underpaid, overworked times. I see you in the kitchen and laundry rooms when everyone else is laughing in the living room. I see you.
Now see me.
I will be the first to admit, I AM A MESS. Seriously! What you see on social media are the highlight reels of my life, but what you DON'T see, that's the good stuff. Like how I had a complete mental break down one Sunday morning before heading to church, to the point where I looked absolutely crazy to my husband. I laid on the floor like a child and wept. Because even though I don't air my dirty laundry, it still piles up. And if it's not tended to, it explodes. Seriously! Ask my poor husband.
How about the time that I went to Disney World with a photographer to get content for Instagram done and looked like the world's WORST mother. Because here I was in Epcot shooting photos and my toddler was having a meltdown. In my defense, the photographer was paid by the hour and her father decided riding Soarin' for the millionth time was the best possible idea at the time. Lord, bless my Husband!
Or the time we were having a magical time at Walt Disney World, just Eliora and I. And she turned from Gizmo to a Gremlin because of over-stimulation and sugar. The day ended, not with fireworks and happy thoughts, but tears and regret.
I do not have it all together in the slightest. We are just like everyone else.
But can I share what I do have, even though it's not perfection?
I have Goodness. When my feet hurt after a twelve hour day of doing hair, and my toddler offers to take off my shoes and places my feet up on the coffee table, giving me rest.
I have Peace when I find that Walmart or Target gift card that we lost right when we are in a financial pinch. Knowing that God provides for us when I don't see away.
I have Patience, believing that the promises God has given me and my family are in the midst of being worked on.
I have Kindness when I feel the storm rise up in me over something very small, and I can choose to be Kind over being toxic.
I have Joy, in hearing those I love the most laugh. Big belly laughs, they fill my heart with Joy.
I have Self-Control when I want to whip my Husband with a frying pan Rapunzel style, but instead, I'm slow to respond.
I have Gentleness when I think about myself. I choose to give myself grace. Over and over again.
I have Faith, that even though I can openly admit how imperfect I am. That is my imperfection, Christ has made me whole.
2 Corinthians 12: 9 says "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
So rest tight Mama, because there's a God who wants to give you POWER AND RESTORATION. How funny that in a world filled with nothing but American dreams and perfect plastic bodies, that we are told to BOAST in our weakness so that others can see Christ in our lives. Something to think about, isn't it?
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